I've been thinking...

Two older gentlemen (one white, one black) knocked on my door earlier this afternoon.  When I opened the door the black gentleman stepped up with a friendly grin and said "We've been talking to your neighbors and just wanted to ask (as he pulls a pamphlet out of the back of a "big thick black family type Bible") who do you think controls the world?" 

I smiled back, but instead of giving my usual "I'm not interested answer" (after all I was taught to respect my elders) I asked them where they stood on homosexuality or interracial relationships.  The white gentleman assured me that there wasn't an issue with people of different backgrounds getting to know each other but he was sure I would agree that homosexuality wasn't the same thing. 

...like I said I've been thinking.  Why is it ok for two strangers to knock on my door and try to make me feel like I'm the "bad guy" because I don't believe the same way they do?  And hear me when I say I'm not trying to stir the pot (nor am I disrespecting those who follow a religious doctrine).... remember when "they" said blacks and gays were out recruiting people to "their" way of life?  I've never had either group knock on my door and ask me to join their group.  It hit me that my religious "aversion" may not only be the 'higher power' concept but the exclusivity of the club itself.  

 This week of the year always reminds me of the early days of G.LA.S.S. at Catawba.  Those first couple of years we had no idea what we were doing.  A bunch of misfits looking for a place to belong, to fit in.... each one with their own reason for reaching out to everyone else.  Funny thing, I got involved only because I wanted to help a friend deal with his homosexuality and to my surprise I found myself as co-chair two years in a row.  Me; a straight black woman 10+ years older than everyone else in the group; co-chair of a gay acceptance student group?  How's that for total unconditional acceptance?  We didn't go around trying to get people to join our ranks, we just let everyone know we were around & if they wanted to hang out we'd be there for them. 

Why don't religions work that way?  Why does it feel like I need to change what I believe to be right & true in order to be able to join their group? And if they are 'right' why can't they wait for us to come to the same conclusion and come to them?  I'm just wondering...

Mom 11/18/40 - 11/2/98

Today is the last day I meet with my tutee “A” before she takes her citizenship exam.  She is the first person I’ve tutored since I became a volunteer for the Cabarrus Literacy Council and I have to admit I’m a little nervous for her.  She knows her stuff, but this is an important exam; probably the most important she’ll ever take. 

Before we started she asked me about my Halloween.  I side-stepped the question by just telling her it was quiet and asked her about hers.   She was very excited about passing out candy to the kids; it was the first time she participated fully in this particular American holiday; it’s quite different in her home country.

On Midnight of November 1st for the children and November 2^nd for the adults they gather up the favorite foods, flowers, drinks, etc. take them to the cemetery and leave them around the graves of their deceased family members.  They believe that the spirit of their family member comes to visit the grave, sees the goodies left for them & parties the night away.

So on the eve of the anniversary of Mom’s death I decided to borrow this tradition.  Since I don’t have a gravesite to visit, the World Wide Web will have to do.  Anyone that knew Mom would have no problem naming her favorite drink: coffee. Hot, cold, night or day she was always drinking coffee. I remember when the delivery giants first came up with the stuffed crust pizza Mom & I spent weeks discussing it; did they actually put the cheese in the entire crust or was it just the edge?  how do you put cheese in the crust without it exploding all over the place?  how do you hold the rest of the pizza after you’ve eaten the edge first? … After I couldn’t tell you how many commercials, we finally figured out if we ORDERED the pizza we’d know the answers to all those pressing questions.  Now Mom wasn’t really one for flowers (guess I came by that honestly); she always said that what was the point in spending all that money for something that you could only enjoy for a few days (balloons were a different story though – everyone loves balloons!); but interesting looking plants and/or plants with flowers were a different story.  According to the cute little plastic name tag stuck in the dirt of this strange looking plant it is a Kalanchoe.  I’ve managed to keep the Peace Lily G.L.A.S.S. gave me when she died; why not see if I can do the same for this little guy?

This is always a rough week for me.  It’s strange the things that seem to pop out of nowhere (like the stuffed crust pizza) and the others that seem like they happened yesterday…even after all these years.  It’s almost like my body knows the date before I even look at the calendar.  Funny how A’s cultural tradition makes me smile.