This year is off to a slow start where
my resolutions are concerned, but I’m still plugging away.
The other day I made an appointment
to attend a weight loss surgery seminar.
It’s the first step in finding out if 1. I qualify for the surgery (am I
fat enough) and 2. Which of the three surgeries would be best for me. I’d also find out the biggest obstacle –
cost. I’m not sure if my insurance would
cover it (last time I looked it wouldn't) so I’m going in with the idea that I’m
going to have to find a way to pay for this all on my own.
I've had a major setback where it
comes to the exercise. I've been waylaid
by Mother Nature as well as a 15# weight gain that I cannot explain. Seriously, this is a scary kind of jump in
weight – who gains that much weight in two weeks? I've never been one that “bloats” or retains
water (and even if I did that’s a heck of a lot of water, right?). It’s not like the holiday feasting was
catching up to me because I didn't do any feasting (remember I worked all three
holidays & frankly didn't feel like trying to be festive). It has been suggested that I've hit by a
major dose of depression, but that doesn't explain the weight gain to me. …and before you ask, no it’s not my
imagination. Remember all those jeans I
was so proud of because they actually made me look good? Well I can’t wear them now.
Because this bothered me so much I
made an appointment with my doctor for today. Granted it was time for the
diabetic checkup, but I also wanted to talk to her about the weight loss
surgery (something I've mentioned to her over the years but I've never been all
that serious about it), the yeast infection & now this latest ‘what the
hell is wrong with me now’ episode. Hey
making this appointment is a big step for me.
I keep thinking about Mom & how when she decided to get healthy
& lose weight she found out she had Stage 4 lung cancer & died four
months later. Any other time something
like this has happened I’d just stop & go back to my unhealthy ways. This time I called the doc & am facing my
fears.
…at least I was until this morning
when the doctor’s office called to say she wasn't going to make it into the
office today (who knew a 4⁰ day could cause so much havoc?) and would need to
reschedule. Seminar is the 21st
& doc appointment is now the 22nd…two weeks of me going crazy in
my head – not to mention classes starting in a week. I don’t need a man in my life to drive me
crazy, I tend to do it to myself. *sigh*
