This has been a totally depressing day & my adopted
state has made it that much worse.
The last two years have been absolutely horrible. I totaled my ’99 Ranger; the truck I bought
with the insurance money from Mom’s death.
I tell everyone that Blue (that was my truck’s name – yes I’m one of
those crazy people than name their vehicles) gave his life for me. I was t-boned in the intersection, did a 360
into a telephone pole a block and a half from home. The driver’s side door wouldn’t open, the
(newly filled) gas tank was leaking, and the bed of the truck had been turned
into a “U” by the telephone pole. Blue
was dead, but I escaped by only being sore for about a week.
That September my company went belly up. It wasn’t a surprise exactly; we’d been
fighting it for years. We had one last
chance – a buyer but for some strange reason he backed out at the very last
minute (seriously who backs out of a deal 6 hours before signing the
papers?!?). This was the first time I’d
been unemployed since I delivered the morning newspaper as a kid.
Since I had the time, I went home (to VA) to spend
Thanksgiving with Dad. …and staying over
seven months to help him through hip replacement surgery. The surgery was fine, the recovery nearly
killed me. The doctors didn’t believe
him when he told them how much he drinks or how long he’s been drinking (at 70 he
would be what most would call a functional alcoholic) and having to ok having
him restrained while he went through the dts just about killed me. The only thing that made it better is that he
doesn’t remember a minute of it. If
there is a god, I thank him/her for that.
I came back home (NC) in early Spring & hit the job
hunting hard and heavy. Even still it
took another four months before I found a job.
A great job, new field, new opportunities a new chance…
…that lasted nine months and I was blindsided again. The office manager called me into her office
(first time since I was given my 90 day review) and told that I was not
catching on as expected and they were going to have to let me go. Seriously?!?
All I’ve been asked to do is print, copy and scan – how can someone with
two freaking degrees and 15 years of experience working in the IT department
not know how to do those menial tasks to the satisfaction of a law firm? I guess
I am still a little bitter about that. I
really liked that job.
It’s been almost three months and I’ve only had one
interview (didn’t get the job because they hired from within). Dad is helping out as much as he can; he’s
taken over the payments of Blue’s replacement Judge. I’m collecting unemployment but it’s not
nearly enough to pay the bills let alone anything else. Today the cable/internet was cut off. I paid part of my rent with a promise to pay
the rest in two weeks (it takes me three unemployment checks to make one rent
payment) only to find out that the landlord is no longer accepting partial
payments. If the entire rent isn’t paid
in full by the 10th of the month they will file eviction
notices. I’ll be two months behind on
the water bill by the 10th, the cell phone as of the 18th,
and the power will be disconnected on my birthday (6/8) if I don’t make at
least one payment before then. The only
bill I’m caught up on is the truck insurance – and that’s only because there is
no grace period on that.
I’ve sent out 83 resumes since I was let go 2/29. I’ve gotten quite a few nice “thanks but no
thanks” responses but only that one nibble.
Believe me when I say I’m not being picky, I’m applying for anything and
everything that suggests that it will pay my bills and give me health insurance. I don’t care what the job is or where it is
anymore. I’m about to be 43 years old
and I still can’t take care of myself.
…and then I look up and see the primary results. Amendment One passes to a 60/40 vote. How is that even possible? Why do people insist on pressing their
religious beliefs on everyone else? What
happened to separation of church and state or freedom of religion? I wonder if my grandparents or even my
parents felt this lost and helpless during the civil rights fights?
I’m not asking for much… can I just get a break? A small break? I’ll make it work, I promise – just give me a
chance.
…what’s the point?
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