Most of my
"friends" are either married, have kids or are in another time zone.
The rest are 20 years my senior or 15 my junior. I'm sick of having to work
around all of their schedules just to be able to hang out anymore. Problem is I
have no idea how to go out and make new friends anymore.
So here's the deal:
I'm a HUGE Dallas Cowboys fan, I can drive a stick- shift, I'm a BBW, a
metalhead, non-smoker, casual drinker, and I say no to drugs. I've always
wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle but they scare the crap out of me.
I've never been married and don't have any kids. I'm a full-time student
(again) & have full-time job with inconvenient hours.
Did I mention that I'm
black? Hope that's not a problem.
How would you like to
be my friend?
...yep silly me thought I'd give this a go again. In a weakened state, I thought to myself "hell it worked once why not try again,
what have you got to lose?". Truth
be told I could feel myself going into a very dark space & honestly I was
afraid if I went there again this time there would be no crawling out. I needed something else to focus on other
than things with Dad, my grades, the bills, how long is this job going to last
(or how long am I going to last in the job)... why not some harmless flirting
over email?
I dug out the Craigslist ad that I posted a few years ago
(yes the same one that brought Bill and I together) & 'tweaked' it a little
bit. Honestly it's pretty funny to realize
after two years nothing really has changed in the grand scheme of things. I'm not looking to jump back into a
relationship - in fact I don't want anything to do with that word. I was just hoping to find someone that might
enjoy a conversation and/or texting hello every once in awhile; someone who's
looking for a distraction from life as we know it.
That's so NOT what I got.
In fact the emails I received this go round were so different from a few
years ago I had to go back and make sure I didn't post something I didn't
intend. It's the "other"
groups that kind of surprised me.
- · I received the expected number of perv emails (it is Craigslist afterall) that went straight into the trash without a second thought.
- · Even though this was a dusted off post, I took some time crafting it. Is it too much to ask that if you're going to take the time to respond you could send more than "I'll be your friend - white guy here. Write back if you're interested." I swear - that's the entire email.
- · There were about 8-10 that started out "I've always wanted to be with a black girl" or "a big girl"... Seriously guys (and yes I will speak for both communities for a second), not all of us are so insecure that we will jump in bed with any guy that asks. If you're attracted to women of color (any) or of size (again any) then go up to someone you're interested in and introduce yourself and smile. There's no need to lead off with "I've always wondered what it would be like to sleep with a black woman"; I promise you all the parts are in the same place & have the same function; just don't think you're going to get away with pulling our hair (sorry I couldn't help it).
- · Did you notice the part about being friends? or that it was posted in the Strictly Platonic section? I just want to hang out, go to a movie, maybe a show at the NC Music Factory... talk about the news? I admit (as the song goes) "I screwed around and fell in love" last time I tried this, but I learned my lesson. I'm not looking for a romantic involvement of ANY kind, I'd just to have someone to talk to every once in awhile.
- · There were a surprising number of kids (yes kids – youngest was 21 – the majority were 25-27) that responded. The scary thought for me were the ones that said they had a girlfriend. Why the hell are you cruising CL? One guy actually had the nerve to send this after I told him I wanted friends my own age: Who cares, cool ppl are cool ppl. It's not like I'm trying to suckle from ur tits!! Lol age doesn't matter to me. I'll be anyone friend.
- · ...which brings me to my next point - tell me again why you are sending emails in text-speak? As those guys on ESPN are so fond of saying "C'mon Man".... everyone has a smart phone these days with a full keyboard - not to mention the full keyboard on that neat tablet you're currently using. There is NO excuse for not typing out the entire word these days. I'll forgive misspellings (lord knows if the F7 key didn't exist I'd never send out a correctly spelled email), but text-speak in an email goes straight to the trash without the "thanks for responding but you have not been selected to go further in search for a friend process" email.
LOL I can hear Kris now telling me that I'm too damn
picky. Maybe. Truth be told I need someone around me that
can challenge me, someone that won't let me walk all over them. Someone that will call me out on my
crap. Someone that will disagree with me
& even push back when I state my opinion.
Someone that will let me question what they say and not be offended by
it.
Damn it …so that's what Adele meant by Never mind, I'll find someone like you. Maybe in her next
album she’ll tell me how to do that?
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